(no subject)

Felt asleep at work in front of the computer. My head fell down to just a few centimetres above the keyboard, without hitting it. Luckily, only two co-workers saw it & they are alright. Should really stop doing that now.

Lost 2 babies in a row. You don't know how it feels unless you've been through it.

I was going to write an angsty little fic about Holland and Kilbane after the Spain match. After two agonizing nights and dozens of torn draft paper, I had finally worked out a plausible plot. But only then did I find out they were actually already partying that very night.

Worse still, Holland sang. So, my characterisation had all gone down the drains.

I thought, alright, I can work on my other muse. And this one actually had a prospect of being a masterpiece, although I don't where I should/could publish it. It's a rp mpreg fic. I haven't read any rp mpreg yet & I didn't really know whether I could pull it off. But I had this feeling that if I did, it would be something big. It's got all the best conflicts you can get, as my two protagonists - Gary Kelly and Ian Harte - are uncle and nephew, club and country teammates, quite contrasting characters and at very different stages of their career.

I spent a week looking for information about pregnancy and abortion and working out the plots and the dialogues of the crucial scenes. Just when the storyline was all but set, I found out that the hormone which the pregnancy produces is a banned substance in sport!

Felt worse than Allison (in Trainspotting) finding her baby dead. 'Cause I actually tried again and again to keep it alive.