It's Friday Again

I'm tired. And I feel like I'm a bit ill. Not sure whether it's because my nervous system is complaining. I've just watched three films straight. My eyes are more than a bit tired.

But I'm feeling like - I don't know what I feel like. I'm not sure whether I'm feeling cold or hot.

It's Friday again. Another week has passed with me looking half-heartedly for work. Without success. Without doubt.

The longer I stay unemployed, the harder it'll be to get a job. I know that. I'm not that stupid. It's only that... actually I enjoy this freedom too much. But I know I need a job. Because everyone is asking me whether I have found a job yet. I know what they are thinking. And I know those who have sympathy for me right now will soon think otherwise if it drags on. It just isn't normal, or morally right to stay jobless. I know. Only I just can't find enough motivation to look harder or... what the hell... how can I say to them I enjoy being unemployed when I actually need the cash? And I need to go to my graduation in December. If I still don't have a job by then...

I'm still trying to write. But somehow I just don't have the time. Somehow I just don't believe in myself. I just want to believe in myself. But no, I never fucking do.